A 2nd Chance to Play Again Yet it is Sooo Hard to Do

by Sue
(Malaysia)

Hello everyone, please be warned that my story is a sad story and tissues would be welcome.

I am Sue. I started playing the piano at age 3. I was not a genius at it but I got through my exams fairly well and once, was top of my age group.

Then at age 10 I was betrothed and after Grade 5 ABRSM, at age 14 ...I was married off to a guy who was 13 years older than me. It was a pre-arranged marriage due to circumstances of being a pawn in a game of chess (so to speak).

I had to stop schooling and my piano lessons ended. I had my first son at 15 and subsequently had 4 more. Yet all this time I had always cherished the dream of being a piano teacher.

I have 4 boys and a girl and only put my daughter through piano lessons and I am happy to say that she is now a piano teacher in her own right. My boys went through school and did well in their studies. But most of all I would like to say that each one of them were interested in music and could play the Guitars (acoustic, electric, bass) and drums between them because I taught them to enjoy music.

My only regret is that I did not teach my last boy music because he is autistic. I pursued and spent so much time educating him and waited in all schools and volunteered in his school all the time. I spent all my years waiting for him from morning till evening and fought to get him educated and to be accepted and be given the benefits of facilities in school.

It was indeed a a very tedious task, yet at the same time I was cooking and cleaning the house and sending the rest to school and sports and tuition. Needless to say that I was a superwoman as my life would start at 5:30am daily and end at 12pm.

I am happy to say that my autistic son was able to obtain A's in Maths an Science and English in his O and A levels. But flung all else which didn't matter to me at all.

In 2008, I was involved in a major automobile accident in which a lorry rammed into the car I was driving. I spent 1 1/2 months in hospital and had to learn to walk again and was also partially blind and deaf on my right side and fractured my backbone and all broken ribs and a metal plate in my left hand. Then soon after my marriage of 33 years collapsed. I had no money, no place to go, nothing in my name except my clothes and no kids. I was lost with no certificates ... nothing.

I managed to get a job as a helper in a kindergarten but as my English is excellent and I do speak with an British accent, I became a teacher for 3 years, then I managed to get a good desk job because even though I love kids ... it was a painful task on my backbone.

I also secured another additional job after work as a cleaner and with that I bought a digital piano. I started taking lessons and passed my Grade 6 exams after 33 years of absence..

But now .. Grade 8 is so hard for me to sustain lessons due to the blood clot in my head which causes severe migraine and its sad as I had given up my whole life for my family and now I feel it is too late for me to continue my piano.

Please don't get me wrong, I am happy because I know I did a good job raising the kids only I wish I was allowed to complete my school or my music lessons as I at least would have been able to be a professional.

I am now in my early 50s and I feel I am a lost cause yet life goes on and I am strong enough to accept, adapt and assimilate. So please wish me luck and I appreciate any advice to help make learning grade 8 piano easier.

Thank you for your time in reading my story.